http://www.rd.com/content/good-manners/
It got me thinking how is it that we (or they) name us the 3rd rudest? On what basis? Are we trying to promote the American or the British way, of opening and holding door.. the “Ladies first”, “No, after u”, “Excuse me” and all that? I have to say, it is a nice culture, and tht plus our own culture (our Malaysian heritage ppl!!) could b the perfect combination, no?
kellmcnamara an online friend commented on this as "I see a lot of reasons to dispute much of the studies conducted for the article, especially the fact that many of the 'common courtesies' are not universal. For one, chivalry is a very western/ european concept/ practice. Dropping papers? How about investing in a more secure and effective filing or paper-storing system? IMHO, that article in Reader's Digest is really something I can't seem to digest. They should've just stuck to publishing feel-good stories, recipes, etc rather than mislead people with a totally culturally biased study."
And I totally agree! And here's a quote from my friend Juli:
"Sadly, i do think our fellow countrymen (women, and children too) are rather rude. Including myself. There are just days when it doesn't pay to be nice to ppl. Because those ppl are likely to take advantage of it and step all over you. All because your silly head told you to mind your manners when obviously, those other ppl have never even heard of the concept of manners. I think it's the worst on the road and also whenever there's a queue involved. But then again, there are times when i'm surprised by the thoughtfulness and compassion of strangers. And those days are always good days. Well there's always room for improvement."
So back to topic.. The counter back for the reader’s digest article was tht it wasn’t the whole of Malaysia, just KL (Pheww.. Now I can live in peace). So I went to KL to check if this was true. Here, I share with u some of my experience there. They’re all real. I was sitting down on the Komuter and was counting how many stations I had before my stop so I was preoccupied. Biasalah, rusa masuk kampung!! Just as I finished counting, I saw a woman standing up and offering her seat to another and her kid. See, tht’s some good old manners! I don’t see anyone offering any seats on the KLCC line LRT! And I don’t think I ever saw an occasion where one needed to! Let’s look at these other scenarios:
Scenario A
This happened on a Friday at KLCC. The place was jam packed with ppl as always during the mega sale season (a phenomenon like Raya u know!). I was standing behind this malay girl (noted for her name and her use of malay—yes, I was eavesdropping). She had on a halter top, cut above the belly button matched with Capri the hipster kind. The view from behind wasn’t a pretty sight. She had her love handles hanging out of her jeans (not to say I don't), and the fat from under her bra line too! In short (as always) it was disgusting. LOL! Unless ur in the US and used to such sight then just go with my words! Then the girl turned to her side and primed herself on one of the glass display and I cud see her tummy peeking out too!! Why punish me of such sight!!
Did I tell u this was when the Muslim men were all heading to the mosque for Friday prayers? Nvm that.. So anyways, a group of 4 or 5 walked in front of this girl and one said loudly “Masyallah! Batal air smayang aku!” to express his shock and disgust if I might say, but the girl just kept on walking as if it was nothing.
So the question is.. Who was rude here?? Was it me for saying all this bad stuff of her here? Or was it the guy, for exclaiming his thoughts and what not aloud? It could also b the girl, for not respecting our country as an Islamic country and on a Friday too (Friday is a holy day, just like Christians on Sunday), or her own religion for showing off all tht fat, or for knowing tht some ppl just don’t want to see all that shown. It was a not so pretty sight! LOL, but the girl wud say it’s her choice, her freedom to do as she might.. Or are these ppl not rude at all?
Or could it also be another rude act for me for being so.. what should I call it.. Un-open minded or shallowness? or so ketinggalan zaman cos everyone else is dressing up that way now? What happened to the Malaysia it was 5 years ago. There is that part of globalization, opening doors to foreign influences and culture yada yada yada..
Scenario B
In Low Yat, I saw this man holding the door so her very pregnant wife could go in first. Such a sweet gesture. But anyway, a lady in one of those black robe rushes in thru the open door leaving the wife a bit stunned. After a second, the wife says “Thank a lot!” The lady in the robe turns her head behind and looked clueless.. Now, tell me who’s rudest?
Could it b the lady? But she could be rushing in because she lost her husband or children? Or she could b rushing in because she has so much money to splurge on in interest to our economy? LOL.. It could be the wife for sarcastically saying thanks? Could it also be both of them for being ignorant of common courtesy? Oh, and what did passerbys, such as I do? Nothing but gossip and retell the event (shame on me!).
But aren’t we suppose to be courteous to tourists? So they’ll keep on coming? Hmm.. I went to look at some statistics (though I couldn't find numbers that showed how much we profit from tourism) and the number of tourists visiting Malaysia has increased to 40% since 2002. So I guess in a sense we did something right to keep them coming!!
Scenario C
I was acompanying my sis shop for her work shoes at Primavera, KLCC. She liked this pair of shoes, but to me it was on the expensive side. FYI, I don't work so I no money lah! So I said let’s look around at some other shop and come back if there aren’t any other ones. Said thanks to the customer service lady who layan us, and said we’ll come back later. We ended up going back to Primavera to get them shoes. And another customer service lady came to help. I don’t understand it, but the manager who was at the counter counting the sales or counting sth yelled out “They came back” in a rude & loud way and I think bitchily/grudgingly. I shouted back, “So? We’re not suppose to come back??” I knew I said it loudly so she must have heard me, but she buat dunno! And I wasn’t satisfied. What’s her problem, we’re hear to buy shoes, to somewhat pay her gaji and it’s as if we’re not welcomed there! So I came closer to her and said in Malay “kitorg nak beli kasut tak boleh ke?” LOL! Still she buat dunno! My sister who is rather a patient and all tht ended up buying the shoes and we terus keluar from the shop.
I mean.. Do u think I was the rude one here? I knew I was somewhat rude, but it was called for!! The manager had her bitchy face on! Whatever happened to "customer is always right" or the always smile thingy to customers? What did I do wrong in practicing my consumerism in looking at other options?
To be honest though, I have had good experience shopping these days. The service is getting better. They even greet you nowadays and offer assistance with a smile! See.. improvements!
There.. Some scenarios to think about. I believe everyone’s the guilty party. We could just stop it there but instead we continue to make it a bigger problem, or is it just me? Hmm…Could it just be that the Reader Digest's article meant well by inducing us to improve our manners? Then again, how many Malaysian actually read the R. Digest?
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