Insecurities on Moving...

I like where I live now. I love my neighbors, the neighborhood and it's proximity to:

1. Airport (5 mins)
2. Express Boat Terminal (20 mins)
3. Bus Terminal (5 mins)
4. The Spring (5 mins)
5. UNIMAS (in events mumsie calls her personal driver to pick her up from work)

and all other good stuff.. My family travels a lot or if not, my relatives come for a visit frequently and I love those visits. This house does need more ppl in it *hint hint*. Thing is, my parents are building a new house at least 30 mins away. There's 3 ways to get there (since there's a river that separates the North & South of Kuching).

1. Satok bridge (& traffic!)
2. Barrage (longer route)
3. New Toll Bridge (aiyo, matilah kene bayar)

And so far from those areas I'm so familiar with i.e. comfort zone.

I've live the last 12 years in this current house, within a Chinese community. I don't remember what it was like living in a Malay community! Yes, I do go balik kampung and cherish those authentic Malay/Melanau community but never more than 2 weeks!

Why am I so afraid? What has got me so skeptical that living in a Malay area is gonna be that bad? I'll tell you why...

The new house is being built as we speak. Belum apa-apa, came these people asking for "protection money"! And the contractor I guess did so they won't burn down the worker's hut or sth. And every night, there's at least someone as the lookout because ppl tend to steal steel!! I asked if it was common that ppl would ask for this sort of protection $$$ and according to the contractor this only happens in the PJ (Kuching Utara) area, which is dominantly a Bumi community. No offense ppl... I myself am a Bumi, 100% pulak tu so shame on me (too)?

This is maybe just a preview of what to come.. But.. I've heard stories about break-ins, daylight robberies etc and I got scared. There's 2 stories that happened for real (undoubtly true). And we won't have any neighbors till maybe another 2 years to at least feel some security (in numbers maybe? ahaha)

A
Not long after my friend moved into their new house, her brother's 4 tires (and rims) got stolen of his car. What was left was the car on bricks and planks. And the tires were maybe 2 weeks old!! And it was probably his first car and first set of tires! If that was me.. I'll be heartbroken! And their washing machine was stolen too!

B
This girl (I went to college with) just got home maybe late evening or night. They have one of those automatic gate and as soon as she got out of her car (inside her house compound!) came ppl with knives and ugut her for money and valuables! I actually forgot the rest of the story.. Ahaah, but I was trying to share that nowhere is safe now.

But despite all this, the new house does have its strong points. It's close to the surau so senang nak dengar azan, solat jemaah and such. It's also closer to my relatives. The house is also mostly catered to my parents' wants and needs... and so called their "dream house". So I guess if they're happy, I should be too! Need to invest in really reliable security system then..

Manners manners...

Actually I wrote this random musing some years ago (and added some new input here and there), in response to an article in Reader's Digest about rudeness and Malaysia scored some points in that! Here is a link of a shorter version of the article I'm referring to:

http://www.rd.com/content/good-manners/

It got me thinking how is it that we (or they) name us the 3^rd rudest? On what basis? Are we trying to promote the American or the British way, of opening and holding door.. the “Ladies first”, “No, after u”, “Excuse me” and all that? I have to say, it is a nice culture, and tht plus our own culture (our Malaysian heritage ppl!!) could b the perfect combination, no?

kellmcnamara an online friend commented on this as "I see a lot of reasons to dispute much of the studies conducted for the article, especially the fact that many of the 'common courtesies' are not universal. For one, chivalry is a very western/ european concept/ practice. Dropping papers? How about investing in a more secure and effective filing or paper-storing system? IMHO, that article in Reader's Digest is really something I can't seem to digest. They should've just stuck to publishing feel-good stories, recipes, etc rather than mislead people with a totally culturally biased study."

And I totally agree! And here's a quote from my friend Juli:

"Sadly, i do think our fellow countrymen (women, and children too) are rather rude. Including myself. There are just days when it doesn't pay to be nice to ppl. Because those ppl are likely to take advantage of it and step all over you. All because your silly head told you to mind your manners when obviously, those other ppl have never even heard of the concept of manners. I think it's the worst on the road and also whenever there's a queue involved. But then again, there are times when i'm surprised by the thoughtfulness and compassion of strangers. And those days are always good days. Well there's always room for improvement."

So back to topic.. The counter back for the reader’s digest article was tht it wasn’t the whole of Malaysia, just KL (Pheww.. Now I can live in peace). So I went to KL to check if this was true. Here, I share with u some of my experience there. They’re all real. I was sitting down on the Komuter and was counting how many stations I had before my stop so I was preoccupied. Biasalah, rusa masuk kampung!! Just as I finished counting, I saw a woman standing up and offering her seat to another and her kid. See, tht’s some good old manners! I don’t see anyone offering any seats on the KLCC line LRT! And I don’t think I ever saw an occasion where one needed to! Let’s look at these other scenarios:

Scenario A

This happened on a Friday at KLCC. The place was jam packed with ppl as always during the mega sale season (a phenomenon like Raya u know!). I was standing behind this malay girl (noted for her name and her use of malay—yes, I was eavesdropping). She had on a halter top, cut above the belly button matched with Capri the hipster kind. The view from behind wasn’t a pretty sight. She had her love handles hanging out of her jeans (not to say I don't), and the fat from under her bra line too! In short (as always) it was disgusting. LOL! Unless ur in the US and used to such sight then just go with my words! Then the girl turned to her side and primed herself on one of the glass display and I cud see her tummy peeking out too!! Why punish me of such sight!!

Did I tell u this was when the Muslim men were all heading to the mosque for Friday prayers? Nvm that.. So anyways, a group of 4 or 5 walked in front of this girl and one said loudly “Masyallah! Batal air smayang aku!” to express his shock and disgust if I might say, but the girl just kept on walking as if it was nothing.

So the question is.. Who was rude here?? Was it me for saying all this bad stuff of her here? Or was it the guy, for exclaiming his thoughts and what not aloud? It could also b the girl, for not respecting our country as an Islamic country and on a Friday too (Friday is a holy day, just like Christians on Sunday), or her own religion for showing off all tht fat, or for knowing tht some ppl just don’t want to see all that shown. It was a not so pretty sight! LOL, but the girl wud say it’s her choice, her freedom to do as she might.. Or are these ppl not rude at all?

Or could it also be another rude act for me for being so.. what should I call it.. Un-open minded or shallowness? or so ketinggalan zaman cos everyone else is dressing up that way now? What happened to the Malaysia it was 5 years ago. There is that part of globalization, opening doors to foreign influences and culture yada yada yada..

Scenario B

In Low Yat, I saw this man holding the door so her very pregnant wife could go in first. Such a sweet gesture. But anyway, a lady in one of those black robe rushes in thru the open door leaving the wife a bit stunned. After a second, the wife says “Thank a lot!” The lady in the robe turns her head behind and looked clueless.. Now, tell me who’s rudest?

Could it b the lady? But she could be rushing in because she lost her husband or children? Or she could b rushing in because she has so much money to splurge on in interest to our economy? LOL.. It could be the wife for sarcastically saying thanks? Could it also be both of them for being ignorant of common courtesy? Oh, and what did passerbys, such as I do? Nothing but gossip and retell the event (shame on me!).

But aren’t we suppose to be courteous to tourists? So they’ll keep on coming? Hmm.. I went to look at some statistics (though I couldn't find numbers that showed how much we profit from tourism) and the number of tourists visiting Malaysia has increased to 40% since 2002. So I guess in a sense we did something right to keep them coming!!

Scenario C

I was acompanying my sis shop for her work shoes at Primavera, KLCC. She liked this pair of shoes, but to me it was on the expensive side. FYI, I don't work so I no money lah! So I said let’s look around at some other shop and come back if there aren’t any other ones. Said thanks to the customer service lady who layan us, and said we’ll come back later. We ended up going back to Primavera to get them shoes. And another customer service lady came to help. I don’t understand it, but the manager who was at the counter counting the sales or counting sth yelled out “They came back” in a rude & loud way and I think bitchily/grudgingly. I shouted back, “So? We’re not suppose to come back??” I knew I said it loudly so she must have heard me, but she buat dunno! And I wasn’t satisfied. What’s her problem, we’re hear to buy shoes, to somewhat pay her gaji and it’s as if we’re not welcomed there! So I came closer to her and said in Malay “kitorg nak beli kasut tak boleh ke?” LOL! Still she buat dunno! My sister who is rather a patient and all tht ended up buying the shoes and we terus keluar from the shop.

I mean.. Do u think I was the rude one here? I knew I was somewhat rude, but it was called for!! The manager had her bitchy face on! Whatever happened to "customer is always right" or the always smile thingy to customers? What did I do wrong in practicing my consumerism in looking at other options?

To be honest though, I have had good experience shopping these days. The service is getting better. They even greet you nowadays and offer assistance with a smile! See.. improvements!

There.. Some scenarios to think about. I believe everyone’s the guilty party. We could just stop it there but instead we continue to make it a bigger problem, or is it just me? Hmm…Could it just be that the Reader Digest's article meant well by inducing us to improve our manners? Then again, how many Malaysian actually read the R. Digest?

Signs of Aging... *sigh*

It’s Musim Cuti Sekolah!! All the kids are about, and the pengakap also.. So here I was taking the thrash out and pops up 2 pengakap at the front gate. They were talking in Hokkien (after all my hard work at exposing myself to skin cancer, ppl still think I’m Chinese!!). So I politely say, non complende (no understand), “cakap Malay or English can?” and the first word they said was.. “AUNTIE!”

I saw ringing bells.. What a wake-up call! I mean Hello, I won’t b 24 til August!!! And here I was trying to avoid make-up, those work clothes so I don’t look too “grown up,” trying to dress up in “teenage” clothes with showy butt cleavage pants/jeans, baby t-shirt and slippers.

Recently, a catching-up-phone-call to a friend conversation turned from what we’ve been up to to the on-goings of Malaysian’s politics. Who knew that this girl who once was so negligent in reading the news and even hated moments when her parents vetoed the TV to watch the 8 o’clock news would be talking of such stuff!

Then there was also this one incident when someone asked me if I was my older sister’s older sister. Ahahha, that sentence alone is confusing! How could I have worked on looking older than my sister (I’m the youngest of 4 btw)? Should I take that as a compliment or is it a blow to my self-esteem? To take it that I look matured and “wiser” does have some advantages, but to be said to have a baby face or “not look your age” sounds nicer, does it not?

I guess I just have to learn to accept that I am getting & looking older by the day.. Who knows, someday someone will even address me as Nenek!! Hopefully it won’t b till another 30 years at least..

Let's see...

I'm jobless (till 9th June that is), and basically I don't have a purpose in life unless u count me wanting to be rich without working and using oh-my-so-precious time doing "real" work a goal.. As for now, I'm hooked on TV, and sleep. I'm a bum to cut it short. Anyone in Kuching who has pretty much the same interest as me or think they're just like me are welcome to treat me to dinner (like that'll ever happen!).

To randomly say I have a passion of sth and to write it into this blog is a lie! I don't have much passion or enthusiasm of much of anything.. So I think this blog would probably be something that touches my days as a stay-at-home daughter.