Some Malaysians are Nice..

What do ppl who has lived outside of Malaysia complain about the people here?

U know for some reason I can't remember much of my complaining, but one of them could be the driving and the lack of manners, and sometimes the heat.. But it's part of who I am now.

I think an earlier blog was about how I found Malaysians to be rude, but putting that aside, some Malaysians are pretty decent people! Here are some examples that somehow makes me proud as a Malaysian.. LOL!

So I lost my IC when I went to the weekly wet market with my parents. I knew I lost it there, and I didn't make a fuss out of it. I didn't want to hear the nagging, the "responsibility talk" yada yada yada.. But that's not the point! Some random guy found my IC, and was so sweet and responsible enough that he actually sent it to my house by hand! Meanwhile I was contemplating on how to break the news to my parents. There, no need to tell them, they already know!!

And I'm not the only one apparently who has been in similar situation. A friend of mine lost his IC and someone actually returned it to him at his house (and his house is like dalam ceruk mana entah!)

A different event was me trying to help by just being there for a friend whose tire went pancit. I have limited knowledge on how u go on about changing a flat motorcycle tire. So here we were contemplating what to do. And this young man asked if we needed help. My friend, being a bit skeptical said nothing, so I said, "yeah.. We have a problem. That tire there is flat!" He offered to take the wheel off, and bring it to a tire shop to get it fixed! I'm like.. Is there actually such nice ppl in Malaysia? But I think I'm lacking the doubting/pessimism of ppl of a typical Malaysian.

But he came back with the tire (if anyone was wondering)!!

See, there are nice ppl in Malaysia!!

U speak English or not? Ur Malay sounds funny!

So here I was sitting at home with conjunctivitis, and wanted to share my experience with another airline: Etihad.. But it got me thinking, why am I so critical on airlines? I reread my blog entries, and most are on airlines, and I just realize how I wrote back then and now are kind of different..

That's when I came to the conclusion: My English is getting worse!

Oh well.. Must be from lack of practice and use. Huhuhu.. The other day also, I was chatting up with a new found friend of mine, and we spoke in Malay. I keep on tersasul cakap Melayu Sarawak. So I changed my medium to English.. This is so against my principal tapi what to do kan? I mean I speak Malay at home and it's my mother tongue, so why can't I carry a conversation in Malay? If I speak in English, it'll b mostly English, and no ketersasulan.

So as a personal observation I think I can only speak Malay to family members and maybe old friends who I'm comfortable with. Speaking Malay is so hard especially with people u just met, what with how to address urself and other people. Whether to use I/U, aku/kau, saya/awak, or the 3rd person calling thingy.. Arghh, so confusing! At least with Sarawak Malay I can stay safe with kamek/kitak.

My cousins from Johor says that there's a distinction between the Semenanjung Malay speakers and Sarawakians. We (Sarawakians) speak Malay softer. Do I? Maybe I speak softer from lack of confidence? I know for one that my sister don't speak Sarawak Malay, but she does speak in a more softer well-mannered way, so good for us then?

Oh, and I was also chatting up with a friend back in USA. "I got red eye," now how Malaysian is that, as supposed to "I have the red eye"? LOL! Oh no, my English is getting more Malaysianized by the day!! And my Malay is getting Sarawakinized too!!

I guess I'm embracing my culture and language by the day then.. I just hope my English and Malay won't be too bad in a few months and years to come!

I work...

So here I was, at work and trying to read up on "stuff I should know" as a mechanical engineer graduate.. And I go, hey I know this, or perhaps I've seen this before.. And yes, I've learned about them, took exams on them, wrote papers on them.. But what do they all mean?

I rack my brains and can't remember what role they played in the whole equation.. Sad isn't it? But there u go.. A waste of a 4-yr degree study. And I believe I'm not alone on this one.. How many of u read the paper, magazines, or even watch tv and go on saying "Hey, I learned about this before!" but when asked about it, u don't know a single thing!

Raya Mode still going strong!

I can't believe my last post was on July 7th! But here I am again..

I want to tell u how awesome an Eid I had! I can't believe I wanted to stay in the States to work and miss all the Hari Raya fun back in Malaysia. Actually, I can't believe how much I missed out on Raya! The preparations, the jalan raya with friends (convoy perhaps), the visiting relatives, the gossipping (or more politely known as catching up), etc..

So much fun!

But the sad thing was that in 4 years I've missed out on this "family gatherings" people tend to forget faces they don't see often. I've been called my sister's name, my cousin's name and asked numerous times who I was. And it doesn't help that I don't live in Semenanjung (where the rest of my mum's family and sisters live). So I don't socialize with these few ppl much. Oh well, u lose some, u gain some..

So tomorrow's my family's Raya Open House. I hope to see ppl I haven't seen in ages! And hopefully, I'll get back and share some silly story here and there..

How did Mum do it?

I don't think I'm cut out to work! Ahahah.. I'm pathetic!

But I'm cutting down my hours of sleep to 6 hours/day (from 9!!), though I have yet to get a hold of my housely duties pertaining to household chores--cooking, cleaning, laundry etc (dishes are still waiting to be washed!).

What lame excuse do I come up with? Hmm... I come home physically and mentally exhausted!

I don't have a younger sibling, or anyone else (besides my lovely cat) that need taking care of. It's basically me who needs to be taken care of. So how did my mum do it? Working full-time (and those traveling!) and taking care of her kids & nephews & nieces? Taking time to teach Sejarah, doing Art projects & homework, and running errands and those emergency leaves and clinics? I remember I wasn't the healthiest of kids... How did she do it?

Oh well... On a second note, I got a new job! Yeay... And I was so confused at work today, what with ball and screws and servo motor and tact time. I'm so not cut out to be in a manufacturing world (or is it because I didn't have at it long enuf?).

Languages languages..

"I will look stupid if I speak Malay!"

Heard that one before? Some public figure said it on national TV I think.. Oh well!

Do I look stupid speaking Malay? I speak Malay maybe 33%, Sarawak Malay 33%, English 28%, 6% Melanau (pathetic eh?) not that I actually did a full research. There's that much of diversity, oh and I'm taking up Mandarin.

So what language should I speak when approaching someone I just met or a sales person? If I start speaking English, nanti orang cakap sombong. If I speak in Malay nanti there's the double standard. You sometimes won't get the 5 star treatment with service. But there's some good points to it, these ppl will just let you be!

I love telling my Western (meaning KL) stories.. So I was bored waiting for my sister with her haircut so I chatted up with the hair shampoo person there. I spoke in Malay cause I overheard her speaking in Malay. We chatted up and she asked what I was currently doing. I said I just graduated, she asked from where, I replied from USA. She had a customer a few weeks ago, a graduate from La Amerika too, but according to the hair shampoo lady, she was too sombong to speak in her Malay tongue, ada American accent pulak too..

Doesn't it saddens you to hear stories where Malays aren't proud of the Malay language? I know I speak good English, but I chose Malay, even at work with my 3 Chinese colleagues whose Malay is worse than their English (no offense ppl). Some Sarawak Malays can't speak good Malay I agree and choose English as their medium instead (some West Malaysians are rude and just assume they're Indonesians--believe me, I've been one of their victims) so sometimes I understand the choosing of English over Malay..

It saddens me when I hear parents speaking to their kids in English rather than their mother tongue, to know that the child's first language isn't either Malay, or Chinese.. I didn't grow up speaking English (except that short time in Michigan), so I don't see why kids should speak English as their 1st language. And what's with the English education in Science and Math? I take that back, I haven't thought much of this issue so I won't comment much.

Word of advice, embrace your heritage, your language, your culture!

My 1st day at W-O-R-K

Well.. So far, what I've done is complain, complain and more complaining on how sucky my job is. And it's only my 1st day at work!

I'm so not cut out to be a working girl! Ahahah..

Let's hear out why I hate my first day so far. So today was the 1st day of orientation, and there's 3 other people with me. All Chinese boys who prefer to group together and talk in their Mandarin. Why we don't get along much:

1. I'm a girl
2. I don't speak MANDARIN ok!
3. They already have friends who work in the company..

Lunch was awkward! And those intervals in between all the activities was too. There I sat all alone, not understanding what they were talking about. Poor ME! LOL.. Then there's the pay (less than half of what my sis made when she 1st started work), and the holidays!! 8 days/wk? How am I gonna survive? I'm the queen of taking days off!! I like Fridays off and now I have to work on a Saturday too??

See, I have a dad that had a 90 days/yr holiday once (though I think he's back at 30) and a mum of similar days too. I'm used to my mum taking time off work to pick/send me to the airport. Wheee... And now I can't even go out of the company's compound without a release letter? Even out for lunch!! Wow, I feel so compounded already! ahahaha...

And I went to complain to my sister.. And guess what! She told me she just received an Ipod Shuffle from Shell! And she got an Ipod Touch too from the place she worked! Arghh.. Jealous jealous!!!

But it was nice to hear from friends who remembered it was my 1st day at work. And from an aunt who called to ask how it went (and the first thing she asked was "were you sleeping?" I am the ratu for sleeping too btw..

I complain a lot, but I'll give this job and myself a lot of time to adjust too.. Let's hope the 2nd day doesn't go as depressing as it was today..

A Lesson In Addressing People..

U know what I think??

Speaking malay can sometimes be a headache. I recently went to Coffee Bean at SP and wanted to ask this guy to help reserve my seat while I go order.

"Adik.."

"Not adik la, abang!" my friends butt in..

"Eh??" And I just gave up asking for help.

So here it is.. I think I'm at a complex age of twenty-some, should I address people as younger or older than me. I know those school kids deserve an adik, but how about those which u can't tell whether their still in school or not.

See, being 24 for me is an age when you just graduated and started to work. I don't wear make up or play dress up when I go out, so I don't know how "old" I look. I think I look my age, but what do I know how people see me! Those my age at least prim themselves up before they go out!

So how can u go about telling apart people who's working, or still studying, or one of those in between or neither?

Which is the safer route? Going for the "older" or "younger" name calling? Abang/kakak or adik? Auntie/Makcik or Uncle/Pakcik? What if the person be called adik but he/she thinks they're older than us and vice versa? Would they take it as an insult? or a compliment? So much to think about!!

Have u ever noticed that guys don't much mind what they're being called? For example, I call my parents' friends mostly Uncle X and their wives Kak X. I have a granduncle who I call Tok Chik and the wife Mak Chik. Mystifying isn't it?

So I think it's safe to call a lady who's age is ambiguous by adik/kak (rather than makcik!) and u might as well call a guy Uncle! Ahahaha.. But better be safe with Abang--though I think Abang sounds too... What shall I call it.. Mengada-ngada? or what we Sarawakians might call it, kenja! Eh, how about Encik instead?

Me & KL

It seems like I always have a tale to tell if I go KL.

KLIA Counter B18, June 4th 2008 at 7:38AM

Let me tell you why I don't think I could be a good customer service people!

So here I was checking in for a flight back to Kuching on MAS. So I handed this lady (the ground staff) my I.C., and my Enrich card (can't wait to redeem my points for 4 return flight from New York-Kuching!).

Staff: Mana itinerary awak?

Me: Takde, kene ke?

Staff: Kene, what if the server breaks down?

Me: Kalau confirmation number tak cukup ke?

Staff: Tak, kene itinerary jugak!

Me: Lain kali saya buat macam tu.

Staff: Awak register nama tak letak middle name ke?

Me: Tak! (I think she was gonna complain again about that, but thought otherwise)

Staff: Berapa beg?

Me: 2 (with a peace sign--showing 2 fingers, and I put one bag on the conveyor belt thingy)

Staff: Ok (but she only checked in one bag for me)

Me: Saya ada 2 beg!

Staff: Hmmphh!!

~~~~~~

So here's the thing.. What's wrong with the converstaion.

OK... First thing, she didnt even smile once! What happened to the "Service with a SMILE?"

Then, the itinerary part. I've flown on MAS before (EWR-KL-KCH) without an itinerary, well, at most, a confirmation number.

Did I get grilled for not having one?
NO!

Did I have problems checking in?
NO!

And my parents never fussed about us printing the itinerary either, and my dad doesn't. He just gets the confirmation number. And has he ever had problems before? I tell you NO! I just checked my itinerary in my email, and it doesn't state that I should have my itinerary with me. And neither did the MAS website have any small print on this issue either. Apalah!

Also the part with me buying the ticket with just my first and last name. I didn't know I had to put there my middle name. Again, I've flown international (on MAS mind you) and they never cared that I didn't put my full name! And my sisters just use their first names only too! And never a problem!

I told my mum of this incident, and the first question she asked was:

"Melayu ke?"

Yes she was! With her turquoise tudung. I wonder how high her baju kebaya's slit is! I wanted to just reply her back with all the situations I've been in. How much of an experienced traveler I was! Ahaha, but I was so stunned by her "outspokenness" than it rendered me speechless! I have to say I do have quite good spoken English, but I sucked it up and spoke to the staff in Malay. Aiyo, my Malay can sometimes be so ikut buku!

I haven't checked in at KLIA for maybe 3 years! It's either New York straight to Kuching, or LCCT because AirAsia was definitely cheaper! But since MAS has this RM0 fares deal, I was gonna try it. I have checked in in Kuching, but it's usually with my parents--Business Class treatment you know! And never a problem (I think)! Then again, my parents and their constant travelling have made them on a first name basis with the ground staff.

Now, I won't go on AirAsia complaining!

Insecurities on Moving...

I like where I live now. I love my neighbors, the neighborhood and it's proximity to:

1. Airport (5 mins)
2. Express Boat Terminal (20 mins)
3. Bus Terminal (5 mins)
4. The Spring (5 mins)
5. UNIMAS (in events mumsie calls her personal driver to pick her up from work)

and all other good stuff.. My family travels a lot or if not, my relatives come for a visit frequently and I love those visits. This house does need more ppl in it *hint hint*. Thing is, my parents are building a new house at least 30 mins away. There's 3 ways to get there (since there's a river that separates the North & South of Kuching).

1. Satok bridge (& traffic!)
2. Barrage (longer route)
3. New Toll Bridge (aiyo, matilah kene bayar)

And so far from those areas I'm so familiar with i.e. comfort zone.

I've live the last 12 years in this current house, within a Chinese community. I don't remember what it was like living in a Malay community! Yes, I do go balik kampung and cherish those authentic Malay/Melanau community but never more than 2 weeks!

Why am I so afraid? What has got me so skeptical that living in a Malay area is gonna be that bad? I'll tell you why...

The new house is being built as we speak. Belum apa-apa, came these people asking for "protection money"! And the contractor I guess did so they won't burn down the worker's hut or sth. And every night, there's at least someone as the lookout because ppl tend to steal steel!! I asked if it was common that ppl would ask for this sort of protection $$$ and according to the contractor this only happens in the PJ (Kuching Utara) area, which is dominantly a Bumi community. No offense ppl... I myself am a Bumi, 100% pulak tu so shame on me (too)?

This is maybe just a preview of what to come.. But.. I've heard stories about break-ins, daylight robberies etc and I got scared. There's 2 stories that happened for real (undoubtly true). And we won't have any neighbors till maybe another 2 years to at least feel some security (in numbers maybe? ahaha)

A
Not long after my friend moved into their new house, her brother's 4 tires (and rims) got stolen of his car. What was left was the car on bricks and planks. And the tires were maybe 2 weeks old!! And it was probably his first car and first set of tires! If that was me.. I'll be heartbroken! And their washing machine was stolen too!

B
This girl (I went to college with) just got home maybe late evening or night. They have one of those automatic gate and as soon as she got out of her car (inside her house compound!) came ppl with knives and ugut her for money and valuables! I actually forgot the rest of the story.. Ahaah, but I was trying to share that nowhere is safe now.

But despite all this, the new house does have its strong points. It's close to the surau so senang nak dengar azan, solat jemaah and such. It's also closer to my relatives. The house is also mostly catered to my parents' wants and needs... and so called their "dream house". So I guess if they're happy, I should be too! Need to invest in really reliable security system then..

Manners manners...

Actually I wrote this random musing some years ago (and added some new input here and there), in response to an article in Reader's Digest about rudeness and Malaysia scored some points in that! Here is a link of a shorter version of the article I'm referring to:

http://www.rd.com/content/good-manners/

It got me thinking how is it that we (or they) name us the 3^rd rudest? On what basis? Are we trying to promote the American or the British way, of opening and holding door.. the “Ladies first”, “No, after u”, “Excuse me” and all that? I have to say, it is a nice culture, and tht plus our own culture (our Malaysian heritage ppl!!) could b the perfect combination, no?

kellmcnamara an online friend commented on this as "I see a lot of reasons to dispute much of the studies conducted for the article, especially the fact that many of the 'common courtesies' are not universal. For one, chivalry is a very western/ european concept/ practice. Dropping papers? How about investing in a more secure and effective filing or paper-storing system? IMHO, that article in Reader's Digest is really something I can't seem to digest. They should've just stuck to publishing feel-good stories, recipes, etc rather than mislead people with a totally culturally biased study."

And I totally agree! And here's a quote from my friend Juli:

"Sadly, i do think our fellow countrymen (women, and children too) are rather rude. Including myself. There are just days when it doesn't pay to be nice to ppl. Because those ppl are likely to take advantage of it and step all over you. All because your silly head told you to mind your manners when obviously, those other ppl have never even heard of the concept of manners. I think it's the worst on the road and also whenever there's a queue involved. But then again, there are times when i'm surprised by the thoughtfulness and compassion of strangers. And those days are always good days. Well there's always room for improvement."

So back to topic.. The counter back for the reader’s digest article was tht it wasn’t the whole of Malaysia, just KL (Pheww.. Now I can live in peace). So I went to KL to check if this was true. Here, I share with u some of my experience there. They’re all real. I was sitting down on the Komuter and was counting how many stations I had before my stop so I was preoccupied. Biasalah, rusa masuk kampung!! Just as I finished counting, I saw a woman standing up and offering her seat to another and her kid. See, tht’s some good old manners! I don’t see anyone offering any seats on the KLCC line LRT! And I don’t think I ever saw an occasion where one needed to! Let’s look at these other scenarios:

Scenario A

This happened on a Friday at KLCC. The place was jam packed with ppl as always during the mega sale season (a phenomenon like Raya u know!). I was standing behind this malay girl (noted for her name and her use of malay—yes, I was eavesdropping). She had on a halter top, cut above the belly button matched with Capri the hipster kind. The view from behind wasn’t a pretty sight. She had her love handles hanging out of her jeans (not to say I don't), and the fat from under her bra line too! In short (as always) it was disgusting. LOL! Unless ur in the US and used to such sight then just go with my words! Then the girl turned to her side and primed herself on one of the glass display and I cud see her tummy peeking out too!! Why punish me of such sight!!

Did I tell u this was when the Muslim men were all heading to the mosque for Friday prayers? Nvm that.. So anyways, a group of 4 or 5 walked in front of this girl and one said loudly “Masyallah! Batal air smayang aku!” to express his shock and disgust if I might say, but the girl just kept on walking as if it was nothing.

So the question is.. Who was rude here?? Was it me for saying all this bad stuff of her here? Or was it the guy, for exclaiming his thoughts and what not aloud? It could also b the girl, for not respecting our country as an Islamic country and on a Friday too (Friday is a holy day, just like Christians on Sunday), or her own religion for showing off all tht fat, or for knowing tht some ppl just don’t want to see all that shown. It was a not so pretty sight! LOL, but the girl wud say it’s her choice, her freedom to do as she might.. Or are these ppl not rude at all?

Or could it also be another rude act for me for being so.. what should I call it.. Un-open minded or shallowness? or so ketinggalan zaman cos everyone else is dressing up that way now? What happened to the Malaysia it was 5 years ago. There is that part of globalization, opening doors to foreign influences and culture yada yada yada..

Scenario B

In Low Yat, I saw this man holding the door so her very pregnant wife could go in first. Such a sweet gesture. But anyway, a lady in one of those black robe rushes in thru the open door leaving the wife a bit stunned. After a second, the wife says “Thank a lot!” The lady in the robe turns her head behind and looked clueless.. Now, tell me who’s rudest?

Could it b the lady? But she could be rushing in because she lost her husband or children? Or she could b rushing in because she has so much money to splurge on in interest to our economy? LOL.. It could be the wife for sarcastically saying thanks? Could it also be both of them for being ignorant of common courtesy? Oh, and what did passerbys, such as I do? Nothing but gossip and retell the event (shame on me!).

But aren’t we suppose to be courteous to tourists? So they’ll keep on coming? Hmm.. I went to look at some statistics (though I couldn't find numbers that showed how much we profit from tourism) and the number of tourists visiting Malaysia has increased to 40% since 2002. So I guess in a sense we did something right to keep them coming!!

Scenario C

I was acompanying my sis shop for her work shoes at Primavera, KLCC. She liked this pair of shoes, but to me it was on the expensive side. FYI, I don't work so I no money lah! So I said let’s look around at some other shop and come back if there aren’t any other ones. Said thanks to the customer service lady who layan us, and said we’ll come back later. We ended up going back to Primavera to get them shoes. And another customer service lady came to help. I don’t understand it, but the manager who was at the counter counting the sales or counting sth yelled out “They came back” in a rude & loud way and I think bitchily/grudgingly. I shouted back, “So? We’re not suppose to come back??” I knew I said it loudly so she must have heard me, but she buat dunno! And I wasn’t satisfied. What’s her problem, we’re hear to buy shoes, to somewhat pay her gaji and it’s as if we’re not welcomed there! So I came closer to her and said in Malay “kitorg nak beli kasut tak boleh ke?” LOL! Still she buat dunno! My sister who is rather a patient and all tht ended up buying the shoes and we terus keluar from the shop.

I mean.. Do u think I was the rude one here? I knew I was somewhat rude, but it was called for!! The manager had her bitchy face on! Whatever happened to "customer is always right" or the always smile thingy to customers? What did I do wrong in practicing my consumerism in looking at other options?

To be honest though, I have had good experience shopping these days. The service is getting better. They even greet you nowadays and offer assistance with a smile! See.. improvements!

There.. Some scenarios to think about. I believe everyone’s the guilty party. We could just stop it there but instead we continue to make it a bigger problem, or is it just me? Hmm…Could it just be that the Reader Digest's article meant well by inducing us to improve our manners? Then again, how many Malaysian actually read the R. Digest?

Signs of Aging... *sigh*

It’s Musim Cuti Sekolah!! All the kids are about, and the pengakap also.. So here I was taking the thrash out and pops up 2 pengakap at the front gate. They were talking in Hokkien (after all my hard work at exposing myself to skin cancer, ppl still think I’m Chinese!!). So I politely say, non complende (no understand), “cakap Malay or English can?” and the first word they said was.. “AUNTIE!”

I saw ringing bells.. What a wake-up call! I mean Hello, I won’t b 24 til August!!! And here I was trying to avoid make-up, those work clothes so I don’t look too “grown up,” trying to dress up in “teenage” clothes with showy butt cleavage pants/jeans, baby t-shirt and slippers.

Recently, a catching-up-phone-call to a friend conversation turned from what we’ve been up to to the on-goings of Malaysian’s politics. Who knew that this girl who once was so negligent in reading the news and even hated moments when her parents vetoed the TV to watch the 8 o’clock news would be talking of such stuff!

Then there was also this one incident when someone asked me if I was my older sister’s older sister. Ahahha, that sentence alone is confusing! How could I have worked on looking older than my sister (I’m the youngest of 4 btw)? Should I take that as a compliment or is it a blow to my self-esteem? To take it that I look matured and “wiser” does have some advantages, but to be said to have a baby face or “not look your age” sounds nicer, does it not?

I guess I just have to learn to accept that I am getting & looking older by the day.. Who knows, someday someone will even address me as Nenek!! Hopefully it won’t b till another 30 years at least..

Let's see...

I'm jobless (till 9th June that is), and basically I don't have a purpose in life unless u count me wanting to be rich without working and using oh-my-so-precious time doing "real" work a goal.. As for now, I'm hooked on TV, and sleep. I'm a bum to cut it short. Anyone in Kuching who has pretty much the same interest as me or think they're just like me are welcome to treat me to dinner (like that'll ever happen!).

To randomly say I have a passion of sth and to write it into this blog is a lie! I don't have much passion or enthusiasm of much of anything.. So I think this blog would probably be something that touches my days as a stay-at-home daughter.